Psychological Trauma or Spiritual Inititation?
Beloved Alchemists,
I wonder how many of us, lightworkers, have had singular or repeated instances of fighting demonic beings in the dream-state?
For me it started in childhood. I would have dreams of evil presences showing up and I would step up to make them go away. However, my feisty warrior intentions were not enough – I was being attacked but thankfully the dream always ended before anything could happen to me. I would wake up with the feeling that this had been very much real in some other dimension or some consciousness level. Many Starseeds understand multi-dimensionality early on. We cannot even put it into words to explain it to others but we inherently understand it.
Since after my adult spiritual awakening in 2015/2016, these dreams would return intensified. Some times I would win over the adversarial forces and sometimes the dream again would end or even more often, some light-being would step forth to save me and wake me up from the dream before anything bad happened.
For the past years when such dreams would occurre, I noticed that the demonic forces showing up would attempt to go for my throat specifically, attacking me with a sensation as if they were trying to force themselves into my being via my throat and I felt a physical pressure and tension at my thyroid and higher heart area while struggling to not let them in. Upon waking the pressure would still be there only to fade when I’d come to my senses enough to start using my voice to pray and call in my Team of Archangels.
I started to understand that my voice was powerful but had been stifled and this was creating a weak spot in my auric field that negative forces could attack to ensure my voice would not rise.
For a long time I assumed a more mainstream psychology stance and mentally concluded that these dreams must be old trauma material emerging to be witnessed. However my inner knowing begged to differ. At some point I read somewhere that if you systematically have such dreams, you are being trained as an exorcist by the spirit world, which I found interestingly resonant with my inner guidance regarding what was actually happening for me specifically.
When I started working with the Angelic realms after my almost-death in 2019 due to medical neglect, these attacks subsided significantly with one or two exceptions, where I actually ”won” managing to banish the adversarial force attempting to attack me.
Dark Arts Training...
A couple of years ago, one of my angelic guides visited me in the dream-state (we would do this a lot at the time) and asked me: ”Do you want to learn how to perform exorcisms?”.
I was scared of this topic as I felt like it was too much over my head and I just wanted to ”work with the light” as energy healer… so I said ”I don’t think so”!
The being accepted my response but resorted to teaching me something else alternatively:
It sat me down (in the dream-state) to ”play a game”:
My angelic friend’s eyes started changing – from normal blue to dark, to reptilian, to then green eyes etc. I would look into those eyes and get a different frequency and feeling from each. I was given to understand that this ”training game” would prove important in developing my own discernment of light and dark forces and their energetic signatures. The point at the time was to play that game in a safe setting so I learn to distinguish frequency signatures.
I didn’t think much of it and went on with my life but that year, the warfare that entered my life in the form of people that seemed sweet at first only to erupt into demonic dark portals, was insane!
At the time of me writing this, I have behind me 2-3 years of intense dark arts training in learning to discern evil sneaking in via… fellow humans (I speak in depth about this on my ‘Antagonizing Forces: Hijacked Humans’ class). During that time, even though I did not perceive those challenging human relationships as dark arts training, I had started to suddenly be interested in all things… ”demonic”, specifically trying to understand demonic possession, while it scared me big time. I still had not put two and two together, that my experiences, the ”training” dreams and my sudden interest in discerning darkness were all part of the same training.
What Does It Take To Become An Exorcist?
Exorcism as a concept has always scared me. I remember being mortified watching bits and parts of ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’ on TV when I was a kid… As an adult, I couldn’t even watch a movie with exorcism involved AND at the same time it felt like a moral obligation to watch and be educated(?!!)
It always felt like something I quietly knew within me that I am scared of it but it is part of my purpose – a purpose with zero urgency by the way, but more carrying a feeling that ”one day, the time will be for it”. This feeling coincided eventually with a message from my Spiritual Committee during a quiet meditation, where I was told something along the lines of: ”You know, actually exorcism is part of your job. We know you are scared of it but that’s only because you don’t know enough about it. Study it at your own pace. We see you doing this work fully in your 40s and if it takes you longer to overcome the fear then surely by the time you are in your 50s – there is no rush, just know this is a path for you – waiting – and it’s not going away”.
Entirely in disbelief I asked: ”What can I start with right now?”
The response I got would be one that I would be decoding for months:
”Be impossible to move, be impossible to throw out of focus.” and… ”be impossible to corrupt – especially sexually” – which at the time I perceived as strange:
”What do you mean impossible to corrupt sexually? I have a devoted relationship with the same partner since nearly a decade. My eyes and heart see only him. I wouldn’t say I am exactly easy to sway or corrupt sexually!”.
Well, that was before I learned about how the sexual energy of humanity is being harvested even from spiritual targeting and astral rape – which was apparently at the time happening relatively often to me: Especially when I would lucid dream, it would always end up being sexual. Usually I would dream of meeting my partner and making love to him so I thought it was just our souls ”having fun” in the ethers lol. This can be the case but knowing what I know now about the astral realms and how distorted they are, I would dare say this is not the place our higher selves meet to sweeten it up – same as you wouldn’t engage in sexual behaviour at the back of a car late in the night at a dangerous cartel-infested neighbourhood! I mean… safety first!
Since learning to shield my psychic field properly none of that is an issue anymore.
There was however one attempt in the dreamstate which was so obvious that I caught it immediately:
Me and my partner were in a room and my maternal grandma had made a bed for me and him to have sex on (what a weird configuration to say the least and if there’s one thing I have understood is that the more absurd the dream, the more negative psychic interference is involved)!
As we laid down and I look up, I see that there is a bright red demonic portal hovering over the bed with sigils and awful energy. Waking up in the dream, I jumped up and ended the dream because I understood that my ”grandma” was either an imposter spirit setup (trusted person setting you up for energy harvesting) or representing even a binding/curse/covenant stemming from my maternal line linking into sexual harvesting/sexual misery.
Since understanding the sexual misery energy harvesting program prevalent in our world since centuries, it clicked for me, why my Spiritual Team said ”be impossible to corrupt – especially sexually” as a pre-requisite for being able to do exorcism effectively.
Traumatic Exorcism Lineage Histories
Upon working to understand my fear towards to the topic of exorcism, I also uncovered that somewhere in my lineage there were people who suffered from demonic oppression but they and their people did not what to do about it. Someone was specifically very gifted spiritually/very open and were targeted spiritually by dark forces to the point of scary events, with their family (and themselves) being in fear, not knowing what to do about it/how to handle it. Turning to priests apparently only further traumatized people because of specific theatrics propagated at the time by the church, that turned the method of exorcism into sanctioned torture that often resulted in death via means of trying to starve, beat or burn the demon out of the person etc.
As a small child, I had always those dreams that suddenly my mother was screaming from the other room in our house, that a demon was scaring everyone and the adults didn’t know what to do as they were obviously out of their depth. Again… the maternal side of the family reference… I suspect this is where the lineage trauma around possession/demonization of illness might stem. Combine this with possible histories of women being labelled as hysterical or crazy and locked away in those times in Greece (many stories of young daughters locked in the cellar etc for being opinionated or even having serious health conditions like Down-Syndrom like my aunt from my grandfather’s first marriage had)…
As a kid apart from being opinionated, I also had many nervous ticks due to carrying tremendous stress. Instead of understanding and help, I got threats. The most common one was: ”Stop doing this, they will take you from me and lock you somewhere where I cannot help you”… This is not exactly how you help a child who has nervous motor ticks due to the immense stress and abuse at home but once again, I understand that the adults in my family were unable to deal with the demonic influences (hello, domestic violence!) in their own home. Extreme physical abuse over another such as even murder attempts due to uncontrollable anger, child sexual abuse and overall domestic violence, is a demonic oppression issue, in my experience as survivor and energy healer.
Also linking it back to exorcism in itself, my maternal side is half from a Greek Island in the Ionian Sea close to Italy where my grandfather lived and where as a teen he said he witnessed a possessed man breaking the chains he was in, climbing up the village cathedral with seemingly inhuman speed, jumping from the bell-tower taking zero damage but standing up and running away while the village and priest tried to exorcise him. So again, spiritual emergencies with people not knowing how to deal…
Transiting Demonics via Mother Arc
The past years, I have come to the realization that while exorcism in itself is a loaded word, it may be happening more often than we realize and those of us who battle it out with demonics in the dream-state, we may be doing the very same thing we are afraid of in our waking life.
The depression that has followed you all the way from your father’s lineage, the financial burdens that seem to jump from generation to generation, the toxic patterns that you one day awaken to find you do not wish to perpetuate any longer… making positive changes in our lives while at the same time commanding the many Spirits of Bondage out of our consciousness, is crucial. Evicting the spirit of fear, of anxiety, of self-doubt… whichever one you feel coming up, do not let it live in your space rent-free. Command it out. I have put together a class with my personal understandings around Demystifying & Clearing Demonic Influences.
Do not underestimate prayer.
At some point, I prayed for an issue to be purged from my being and life. I did not expect that as response I would be purging demonic energies/influences non-stop. I was very uncomfortable and felt like I was going to lose my mind. I felt scared like ”what is happening to me” (the past lineage trauma kicked in). I prayed and my Team was so sweet to let me know ”you are not under attack, you are purging what you asked be removed from your life – it feels heavy because it stems from demonic interference”. I asked ”please, whatever is being purged, adjust the flow for my optimal comfort because I feel like it is all too much coming out at once”. I was advised to not judge what I am witnessing in my third eye but tap into NEUTRAL OBSERVER CONSCIOUSNESS (let it show up and flow away), and to focus on my breath for the rest of the hour, which I did and I was finally able to feel comfortable and drift to sleep.
Next day I woke up feeling wonderful and had an amazing day full of blessed synchronicities. I went swimming at a beautiful lake, everything was so ”on point”: the people, the place we camped without even knowing that this was the best place to camp for us. I sensed something huge had been lifted indeed the previous night.
Because of that week’s purging experiences, I made it a habit to direct everything emerging into a shadow vortex permanently installed in my 12D Shield and from there commanding them to be transited via Mother Arc.
So I had a dream at the time…
I was looking at a picture that had to do with my maternal grandma apparently in the dream. It was just a yellow ugly colored picture with a red dot on it. As a result of me observing it, a demonic interference ”came out of it” and was attracted into my current location (in the dream). Someone in the dream actually said ”oh no, because you saw it, now it comes after you!”. I sat there as this adversarial energy showed itself as a man who pretended to be a friend/acquaintance but his words were hateful. I thought ”you do not seem like a friend to me”. Then this ”person” turned around and looked at me with such intensity like ready to attack me because I discerned it was not who it pretended to be. In the dream again someone said ”it is attacking you because you called it out – you saw it and now it sees you back”.
I started engaging the being by saying ”I challenge you in the name of the Christ, who are you, tell me your name”.
I had to say it two times because at first it looked at me shocked and the second time it seemed to not be able to resist telling me its name – as if something was compelling it to, against its will. It ”told” me its name in a disgusting grunting noise for a voice, which made the space shake and I understood ”ah, this is his name in his consciousness, I do not speak that language but now I know its name/its frequency”. Before it finished saying its name and trying to scare me with all the rumbling, I literally wrestled him down grabbing his arms and holding it all down, saying ”whoever you are, you are now claimed in God sovereign law, you have two choices, return to God or to a place of origin” and basically sending it to a Shadow Vortex and calling my God forces friends to ”see to appropriate transit via Mother Arc” 
…upon which the entity vanished as if it got sucked by a vacuum… and in front of me now was the angelic being from my dream years ago, who had asked me if I wanted to learn exorcism. I was like ”oh, I haven’t seen you since then!!” and it looked at me pretty happy like ”it wasn’t that hard, was it?’.
The dream ended there and I woke up gasping not from fear or anything but almost as if happy-shocked and celebrating at the same time.
I looked at the clock and it was some time after 04:00 in the night. To close this experience behind me, I said aloud ”I am the Cosmic Sovereign Law made manifest, in the name of the Christ so it is, thank you God Forces” and went back to sleep.
In the calming light of day I was able to corroborate with my guidance, that the purge of the past weeks was indeed successful and last night’s dream was almost like a last ”standoff”, as this demonic influence I had been purging was not happy with being evicted out of my life and consciousness. This influence literally felt wronged to be ousted, like: ”Why are you looking at me, exposing me, calling me out and ousting me? How dare you – now you woke up the Beast, I will show you who is boss”… which however I understand now is just a bully talking. The arrogance of demonic beings is incredible. They think we are their toys but the truth is WE have power over them and not the other way around. Humanity purposefully has been led to forget of its Christed Sovereignty, brainwashed by negative religions. The dream-state intimidation specifically, counted on me feeling fear of retaliation. I don’t think that this demonic expected to meet a fierce version of me with the right tools to send him away for transiting. It really made me wonder how many times our fear is all that they have to manipulate us and make us think that they are somehow more powerful than us.
I would however, caution against taking demonics lightly and so I am not trying to appear arrogant here but they do count on us being fearful and that is the only power they have.
In my journey it is my policy to NEVER underestimate these forces… if anything I have taken ages to be occupied with those issues because of how seriously I took them but it was very revealing to me also that even though I acted in full faith of directing this demonic consciousness out of my space, I was still not alone and my Divine Guides were still supervising the situation, showing up even at the end to ”congratulate” me for overcoming my fear. In the dream I just knew to act fast in self-defense but indeed, what actually took place was… an exorcism!
I am always in awe at the divine timing and orchestration of every single thing that our God Forces guide us through… sometimes years and years lead up to a breakthrough.
Spiritual self-defense rings better to me than exorcism. Whew, what a loaded word!
Whether my path indeed takes me towards exorcism as a service in the future or not, I leave it to God.
With love and appreciation,
E.A.
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